Alright its Thursday morning. Maverick and I have had a nice morning getting ready, finishing up his breakfast, and brush his teeth. As Maverick brushes his teeth, our friends start arriving. During this drop off, one of the boys mothers tell him he needs to use his words to ask me if he can bring something to the couch with him. Backing the mother up, I wait for the boy to use his words and ask me. Has nothing to do with me and my son who is getting himself prepared for the bus which will be coming soon. The other boy doesn't use his words and starts crying. My son then starts feeling sorry for his friend and starts crying and yelling at me saying its all my fault. Oh joy, what a great start for not only my morning but my son's as well. I try to simply explain to my son to mind his own business and its not my fault his friend is crying. His friend is suppose to use his words and is choosing not to. As we go outside, I'm moving on but my son is still upset for his friend. After my son makes a hurtful comment to me I say well I love you and send him on the bus.
As his mother, I'm sad for this. Not only were we having a good morning and now I sent him off upset but I'm torn. Of course I love that my son wants to defend his friends but I want him to understand theres a time and a place. You need to mind your own business as well. Feeling defeated because how do you help a soon to be 5 year old understand when to step in for friends and when to mind your own bees wax!
Later, after consulting with the school counselor, she was amazed by my son's empathy at such a young age. She said most kids at 8 years old don't even have that feeling of true empathy for others. I tried expressing how I'm worried for his future, his anger and yes I want him to be sympathetic to others but dang it, mind your business and be on your moms side. Don't attack me for another moms situation with her child. The counselor told me my son isn't seeing it as that. He is seeing that after I spoke to his friend, his friend started crying. He doesn't see it as a battle with his mom, he wants his friend to be happy.
I had planned to talk to my son after he got off the bus but the counselor advised me not to. A bad morning doesn't make for a bad day. Just because he got upset this morning, doesn't mean he can't still earn stickers the rest of the day. He wasn't trying to make a fight with me. He just shows so much empathy and I should take the pressure off him as well as me. She knows I want my son to be a good boy and the fact that he is showing empathy for others already, I should feel proud and not stress so much about him being good all the time. She said its rare for his age to feel so sympathetic for another person. She also added at school and with her in her class, he is awesome which of course is music to any moms ears.
I had let it go. When he got off the bus, he greeted everyone nicely and seemed to have forgotten what went on earlier before getting on the morning bus. We had a good rest of the day!
So, if anyone has any good tips on teaching my son the appropriate times to step in and protect a friend and the appropriate times to mind his own business, awesome! Otherwise I'm going to try to calm down, not stress what other moms maybe judging me by (because lets be real, half the stress is the pressure with all the mom shaming ) and do what the counselor said. Be happy my son is showing so much empathy at a young age. I can teach and tell right from wrong but emotions are something that are always changing. It may suck he got upset with me (and to be honest, when he talks back to me I want to give the mouth a little smack) but I'm happy my son just wants his friends to be happy. We just need to try to navigate through these tricky emotions. Breathe.
No comments:
Post a Comment